This week Amber Johnson sparked quite the conversation when she asked parents their opinion on the topic of whether to send your child to kindergarten or wait a year when their birthday hovers just before the deadline. This is a question I get asked all of the time and a decision I had to make personally as a parent so I was quick to jump in on the conversation.
Parents need to think about why you might be considering holding your child back as an option? Has a teacher expressed a concern? Do you have a concern? If you have no concern than don’t let the scuttlebutt make you question your decision to send them to kindergarten when the calendar says they should go. Now, for all of the folks out there that do have a concern about whether their child is ready, here is my unsolicited advice.
Do not send your child to kindergarten with the thought that if it doesn’t work out they can simply repeat kindergarten the next year. This is not a good option! The research is very clear that retention, at any age, has a significant negative impact on a child’s self-esteem and future success in school. Wait.
Do not confuse intelligence with academic readiness! I so often hear, “but he is so bright I am worried that he will be bored if we wait a year.” It is a myth that kids will be bored. Kids who are happy are not bored in school and effective schools can find ways to keep all children stimulated. I would much rather have a happy child who has extra time for enrichment activities than an academically challenged child who hates school and does not want to go out for recess because they feel socially inadequate.
It is far more important for a child to feel socially and emotionally confident than for a child to feel academically challenged. Simply think about a time during your school career when you were on the outs socially. Regardless of how academically challenged you were at that time, it is pretty likely that you hated going to school and felt miserable while you were there. Kids who are developmentally younger tend to have more social struggles than peers who are more socially mature. In addition, these social stressors (clicks, bullying,etc.) are happening at an earlier age. In other words that social stuff that we dealt with in middle school commonly starts in 2nd grade and the kids who are often targeted are developmentally young.
Think long term. How will their developmental age affect them in middle school? Do you want your child to be first or last to drive a car? There is a huge difference between sending a 17 year-old off to college and an 18 year-old. Throughout their adolescence they will be faced with a lot of tough choices and you want them to be equipped with as much maturity as possible when they are making high stakes decisions.
Last but definitely not least, I know that some voice concerns over the “academic redshirting” of children. In an ideal world we would have one standard cut off throughout states and districts. The problem is that until we as a country decide to put funding into educating the whole child, rather than just focusing on what the standardized tests are measuring, parents need to take their child’s social and emotional well being into their own hands. One of the first things cut from school programming is character education and bully-proofing programs. If some extra time can help a child have a happier, healthier, and safer academic experience, isn’t it worth the cost of one more year of preschool?
It will likely be cheaper than the cost of years of therapy. What do you think?
