How did I come to focus on kids and sleep, or should I say kids who can’t sleep? I lived it for far too long! I don’t know how it got this bad, but it did. This is what we had tried: threats, bribery, nightlights, twilight turtle, dream catchers, make your own dream catcher, door open, door closed, door locked, burning sage to clear out the bad spirits, no fluids after six, no dessert, go to bed later, go to bed earlier, melatonin, sleeping on the guest bed, on the floor, in a sleeping bag and, eventually we ended up on a kids’ foam couch placed half way in and half way out of the bathroom. This was, apparently, the only place my daughter was going to be able to sleep through the night. Yeah right.
There was also the relentless manipulation. “I’m scared, I’m hungry, I heard a noise, Bode’s talking, Bode’s moving, it’s too dark, it’s too bright, I need a drink, I have to potty” – you name it, she used it. Then came my favorite, “Mom, my breath hurts!” I’d had it. The battles started earlier in the evening. Just the anticipation of the bedtime battle had us all stressed, anxious and exhausted. In an effort to keep me from strangling my oldest child my husband started buying wine by the case to support my choice of self-medication. Clearly, things were NOT good!
Why Can’t They Sleep?
If you’ve ever suffered a bout of insomnia then you know that it can be a very frustrating experience to try to fall asleep when your mind is not ready. This frustration is not only aggravating, but it also keeps us awake even longer. While we are lying in bed thinking about the bills we need to pay or our to do list, children are lying in bed thinking about whether there is a monster in the closet, or something that happened with a friend at school, or when they are going to finish their social studies project.
Going to sleep involves a series of processes that are potentially stressful, particularly to a young child. As children’s imaginations develop they begin to realize that there are things that exist that can hurt them. Often times children’s fears are the result of a frightening experience during the day or exposure to a violent image or experience, ranging from being barked at by a dog to seeing something disturbing on the news. Parental anxiety can also play a role, and in today’s economic climate children are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. Anything that makes a child more emotionally aroused is going to make nighttime fears worse and make them feel more anxious about going to bed.
Some children learn that saying they are afraid is an effective stalling tactic or a way to avoid bedtime. The bottom line is that most young children are exposed to something during the day that puts their mind in an aroused state that makes it very difficult for them to unwind and go to sleep.
When children are experiencing a state of stress, regardless of whether it is a fear of the dark or a stressful experience during the day, their brains elicit a stress response. While in this state they are typically not receptive to verbal communication — you cannot reason with them. There is however a strategy that works to calm the mind so they can go to sleep.
Meditation elicits a relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite of the stress response that many young children elicit around bedtime. While the stress response floods the body with chemicals that excite the nervous system, the relaxation response brings their system back into balance and allows them to drift off to sleep. It works for children and it works for adults.
In addition to helping kids fall asleep easily, the benefits of simple meditation to elicit the relaxation response include:
- Increased self-management skills and feelings of empowerment
- Improvements in concentration, attention, memory, language processing, creativity, and problem-solving
- Improvements in focus and performance
- Improvements in work habits, cooperation, attendance and increased GPA
- Improvements in behavior, self-esteem, and relationship quality
- Improvements in ADHD symptoms
- Brain scans show that meditation shifts activity in the prefrontal cortex from the right hemisphere to the left. People who have a negative disposition tend to be right-prefrontal oriented; left-prefrontals have more enthusiasms, more interests, relax more, and tend to be happier
The benefits speak for themselves and the earlier we can teach children relaxation skills, the easier it is for them to access these skills when they need them! For more info and resources to help your kids sleep visit www.smartdreamzzz.com
